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All right,repeat after me.
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I will never...
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"I will never...
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ever...
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ever...
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fuck mia again.
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Fuck mia again.
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"Thank you.
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Jesus.Just saying itgets me wet.
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Fuck you.
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Find somebody else to pen yoursordid,little fucking tale.
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Come on,man.Don't leave.We gota good thing going here.
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It's been a long timesince I had me A...
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friend.
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Aw,shucks.I'm almost touched.
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But you can't expect meto indulge your every fucking depraved whim!
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Jesus christ.
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I just realized what itmust be like to live with me.
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You know,I-I really didn't think
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you were gonna besuch a fucking ninny about the whole thing.
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Oh,a "ninny"?
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B-because I've had my shareof the tang?
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Because I have my ownsordid past to contend with?
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No.Because she told methat you guys fucked.
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Be that as it may...
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repeat after me...
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-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
Proudly Presents
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Sync: YTET-ÅÝÅÝ·É
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
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californication
Season 02 Episode 07
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you got to get meout of this shit,charlie.
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I can't get youout of anything,hank.
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You signeda fucking contract.
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Since whenhas that ever mattered?
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Look,it's either thisor you do the adaptationof "fucking & punching.
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"Or,wait,no.
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I'm sorry.I take that back.
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I don't thinkI can get you that job.
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I can't take it anymore.
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The guy's gone kurtz.
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He needs a doctor,not a biographer.
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No one said you had to move inwith the guy.
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You never do anything halfway,do you?
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Says the man holdingthe plastic ass-gina.
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What the fuckare we doing here,anyway?
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Hello!
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I'm edumacating myselfas to the variousmarketing opportunities available to the young porn starlet.
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Holy shit.
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You reallylike this girl,huh?
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00:02:23,570 --> 00:02:25,770
Yeah.Of course I like her.
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I like her in the kind,paternal wayany agent likes someone
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whose career is in his hands.
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How about in the kind,paternal way in which a boysome times
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00:02:32,930 --> 00:02:34,780
likes to stickhis pee-pee inside a girl?
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You like her that way,too?
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00:02:38,030 --> 00:02:40,300
I kind of did thatalready.
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What?
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Nigga,please!
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I had to step in and stunt-cock.
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-That's all. -"Stunt-cock"?
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Long story.
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You had to be there.
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Stunt-cock.
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Holy shit,johnny wad.
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How we gonna keep you downon the farmnow
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that you've penetrateda porn star?
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It was just the tip.
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Just the tip,then I popped.
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Naturally.
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Here's the deal.
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This is what we've got to do.
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You got to go home and grabcokey smurf,meet me at L.A.X.
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We got to getthe hell out of town,palomino.
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I mean,we are downthe rabbit hole,
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and I'm afraidwe ain't never coming back.
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Oh,my god!
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Are you okay?
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Jesus christ,lady!
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You justcame out of nowhere.
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You could havekilled me.
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Looks like I'm gonna have toget your namefor insurance purposesand whatnot.
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Oh,my god.
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You're that asshole.
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Why am I not surprised?
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You know,it saddens me to thinkthat when you havean internal dialogue about me,
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I'm "that asshole" and not"that handsome stranger"or "that guy
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who made a messof my bush -- hank moody.
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"It's nice to see you again,mrs...
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Jones.
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Jones?
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Really?
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After all thisrintgue,that's kind of a letdown.
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Janie jones.
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Oh,like the clash song.
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That's fantastic.
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I'm half-chubbed.
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What do you saywe forget aboutthis whole "vehicularmanslaughter" thing
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and I buy you a drink?
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Yeah,I don't think so.
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You know,I really thought thatthe threat of legal actionwas gonna do it,
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but it looks likeI'm gonna have to employmy considerable powersof seduction.
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You ready?
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00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:24,620
Oh,yeah.
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I got nothing.
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That's it.I'm out.
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No,tomorrow night,in venice,marat.
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I'll be the one staring intothe bottomless pit of despair.
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Get there earlybefore I wet myself.
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Oh,yeah!
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Nailed it!
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Oh,that's right --I still got it.
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Okay.
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I shouldn't betelling you guys this,but beccais my absolute favorite.
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Oh,thank god!
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I-I thought you were gonnacome down on herfor being a satanistor something,so.
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Oh,please.
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I think it's safe to saythat whole thing's just a phase,and,you know,
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it probablyhas something to dowith whatever might be going onbetween you two.
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I'm sorry.She made referenceto some changes at home.
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Well,um,long story short,um,we were together,and now we're apart.
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Again.
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So,you're divorced?
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Not exactly.
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It's okay.
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I'm not judging.
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You know,I'm divorced.
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Pretty recently,actually.
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-Oh,I'm sorry. -Right on!
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Hank.
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Um,we were never married,so the divorce thing is...
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no,but I did ask.
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-A number of times. -Okay,not the timeor the place,hank.
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I gave her a ring.She gave it back.
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I gave itto a homeless woman.
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I'm sorry.That's so sad.
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It worked outfor the homeless woman.
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So,um,none of thatreally matters right now.
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What matters is that,um,we're togetherwhen it comes to raising becca.
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Well,yes,but not always.
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For instance,I want becca to bea lesbian when she grows up,
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and karen just wants herto be happy.
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That's ridiculous.Like,you can't be both?
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A happy lesbian?
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Karen: Classy.
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Yeah,I know.You think,with all the moneythat we spend,
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they could affordsome proper glassware.
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Hey,have you seen mialately?
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No.Why?
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No more than usual.
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Well,what does that mean?
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What does it mean?
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W-- I-I don't know.W-what do you mean?
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Well,no,it's justI keep stopping by bill'sto check on her,
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and she's never home.
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So,I know she likesto hang outat ashby's den of iniquity,
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-and so do you. -I have.
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I have seen her there.
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-Right. -Yeah.
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You know,once in a while,not often.
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Does she havea boyfriend?
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I don't know.What is this,"sex and the city," girlfriend?
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What's with allthe questions?
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Well,it's just,last time she came for dinner,
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she was asking meall these questionsabout dating an older man,
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and it was like she was kind ofasking my approval.
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Well,I hope youshut that shit down immediately.
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No.
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I mean,why would I?
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You know,it's a perfectly validlife experienceif it's the right guy.
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Why the fuck would you saysomething like that?
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Why not?
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I datedone of my professors once.
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That's foul.
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He was youngerthan you are now,actually.
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I'm nauseous,actually.
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The sex was fantastic,actually.
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Now you're justtrying to get my goat.
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Am I getting it?
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Now,you're onlygonna have yourself to blameif this thinggets out of hand.
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What thing?
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This gross"older man" thing.
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00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:14,240
No.Well,I want youto keep an eye out.
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I mean,make sure that shedoesn't go anywhere near ashby.
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That guyis such a fucking scumbag.
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Well,he means well,you know?
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That sounds familiar.
186
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I got to go..."phyllis.
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-"Goodbye. -You're a dick,you know.
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-Okay,okay,okay,okay,okay. -Your hair smells good.
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Good.
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It smells like lady hair.
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00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:48,010
Hey yourself,mrs.P.
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I just wanted you to knowI love your writing.
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Quite possiblymy four favorite wordsin the english language.
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Hits allthe pleasure centers.
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Positively rhapsodic.
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00:07:58,730 --> 00:08:01,480
I didn't thinkit was appropriate to say itin front of your,um...
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00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,250
yourex-wife,lover,or whatever.
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Oh,god.I wish you had.
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00:08:04,130 --> 00:08:05,430
That would've pissed her off.
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You like pissing her off,don't you?
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I do.
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00:08:08,410 --> 00:08:10,240
I like pissing offmy ex,too.
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Cool.
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00:08:10,870 --> 00:08:12,300
Is he watching?
205
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Yeah,from the window.
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Oh,well,I'll make sureto use my good cock.
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Just so yoknow,I'm on my period.
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00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:23,660
Not sure I neededa verbal on that,for I care very littleabout such things.
209
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I was in nam.
210
00:08:25,230 --> 00:08:27,230
God.My ex always cared.
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00:08:27,230 --> 00:08:28,400
He thought it was dirty.
212
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,520
Oh,it is dirty...
213
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,010
in a good way.
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00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:34,260
Also,I haven't had much timeto trim the hedges lately,
215
00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:35,210
if you knowwhat I'm saying.
216
00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:37,080
I do know what you're saying,and,again,no worries.
217
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,680
I enjoya generous thicket.
218
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,140
I got to tell you,your feelings about periods
219
00:08:44,140 --> 00:08:47,450
and pubic hair have just made mea bigger fan.
220
00:08:47,450 --> 00:08:48,600
It's what I do.
221
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,680
Anything elseyou care to disclose?
222
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:52,520
I'm very excitedabout fucking you right now.
223
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,630
Oh,you are a chatty one,mrs.Patterson.
224
00:08:57,630 --> 00:08:59,240
Baby.
225
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,560
Baby!
226
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,700
Look who I found.
227
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:05,130
Daisy?
228
00:09:05,130 --> 00:09:06,560
Wh-what happened?
229
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:07,310
What's wrong?
230
00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:10,740
She was sleeping outsidein her fucking car!
231
00:09:10,740 --> 00:09:12,020
I didn't wantto bother you guys.
232
00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:13,550
I just didn't knowwhere to go.
233
00:09:13,550 --> 00:09:16,420
My fucking manager showed upat my apartment and --
234
00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:17,960
you have a manager?
235
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:21,070
You remember the guy who wasshooting the "slam van" stuff?
236
00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:23,320
That smelly,sleazy fuck?
237
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:24,460
That's your manager?
238
00:09:24,460 --> 00:09:30,010
no,******* Ckinscumbag.
239
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,670
And you didn't thinkthis was worth mentioning?
240
00:09:32,670 --> 00:09:35,410
I was just scared you wouldn'twant to work with me.
241
00:09:35,410 --> 00:09:38,190
And then everythingjust happened so fast.
242
00:09:38,190 --> 00:09:39,510
I'm really sorry,charlie.
243
00:09:39,510 --> 00:09:40,480
What does he want?
244
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,370
Money.
245
00:09:41,370 --> 00:09:43,110
He wants to bebought out of his contract.
246
00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:44,120
Oh,that's ridiculous.
247
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,650
Clients get poachedall the time.
248
00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:48,080
I put you in "vaginatown,"I get the commission.
249
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,150
Well,that's exactlywhat I told him.
250
00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:51,110
And what did he say?
251
00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:54,230
He trashed my apartmentand ate all my food.
252
00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:55,890
I'm just gonna crashin my car.
253
00:09:55,890 --> 00:09:57,640
-I just really don't want toput you guys out. -No,no,no.
254
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,180
Don't be silly.Don't be silly.
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00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:01,740
We'll -- we'll make upthe guest room.
256
00:10:01,740 --> 00:10:03,530
Just get into bed,baby.
257
00:10:03,530 --> 00:10:05,460
Mommy and daddywill keep you safe.
258
00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:06,450
Marcy!
259
00:10:06,450 --> 00:10:07,640
What?
260
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,550
She's scared shitless.
261
00:10:09,550 --> 00:10:10,550
Come on,dais.
262
00:10:10,550 --> 00:10:13,680
I'm too tiredto freshen upthe fucking guest room.
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00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,140
Mama needs her sleep.
264
00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:33,880
Oh,god.
265
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,440
Oh,that was exactlywhat I needed.
266
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:37,520
Well,good for you,lady.
267
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,630
Happy to protect and serve.
268
00:10:39,630 --> 00:10:40,900
What?
269
00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:43,270
I think I'm gonna cry.
270
00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:44,270
Oh,dear.
271
00:10:44,270 --> 00:10:45,730
Don't do that.
272
00:10:47,490 --> 00:10:48,970
No.It's,uh -- it's nota bad thing.
273
00:10:48,970 --> 00:10:50,420
It's,um...
274
00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:51,970
coming makes me cry.
275
00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:53,140
I mean,on occasion.
276
00:10:53,140 --> 00:10:54,030
I-I-I get that.
277
00:10:54,030 --> 00:10:56,710
I mean,sometimes,after I co,I want to...
278
00:10:56,710 --> 00:10:58,850
weep,you know?
279
00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:01,320
But,usually,I just nap.
280
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:02,390
You know?
281
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:07,350
You want meto hug you or,uh...
282
00:11:07,350 --> 00:11:09,560
comfort you in some...
283
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:11,240
fashion?
284
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:15,250
No,that's nice of you to offer,but it's --it's not necessary.
285
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,130
Okay.
286
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,560
Hey,where's the shitterin this joint?
287
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:25,020
Down the stairs,to the right.
288
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:39,600
Damien?
289
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,960
Mr.Moody?
290
00:11:44,990 --> 00:11:47,450
You fucked my mom.
291
00:11:47,450 --> 00:11:50,770
I fucked your mom?
292
00:11:50,770 --> 00:11:53,880
I fucked your mom.
293
00:11:56,730 --> 00:11:59,030
Did you hurt her?
294
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:17,390
Oh,no!
295
00:12:17,390 --> 00:12:19,200
You didn't!
296
00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:21,440
I can explain.
297
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:22,590
Oh,no,you can'T.
298
00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:23,910
It's notwhat it looks like.
299
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,350
She wouldn't listento reason.
300
00:12:25,350 --> 00:12:27,490
I didn't see you put upmuch of a fight there,lover.
301
00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:28,930
You guys have got to stop this!
302
00:12:28,930 --> 00:12:30,990
This is sick and wrong!
303
00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:32,110
Sure.
304
00:12:32,110 --> 00:12:35,280
It's sick and wrongwhen he does it,but it's perfectly finefor you to fuck me.
305
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:36,280
Stop saying that out loud.
306
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:37,240
It's not okay.
307
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,050
That's why we neverdid it again,mia.
308
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,770
Never say "never,"hankie.
309
00:12:40,770 --> 00:12:42,350
Okay.I promiseI'll never do it again.
310
00:12:42,350 --> 00:12:45,370
You've already done it againlike three times!
311
00:12:45,370 --> 00:12:47,280
Far more than that.
312
00:12:47,740 --> 00:12:49,890
Do you want karen to find outabout this,young lady?
313
00:12:49,890 --> 00:12:51,520
I don't know,hank.
314
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,210
Do you want karento find out about this?
315
00:12:53,210 --> 00:12:56,070
Because finding out about thiscould mean finding out about us,
316
00:12:56,070 --> 00:12:59,920
which could very well meanthe death of hope,hank.
317
00:13:22,620 --> 00:13:24,350
What the fuck is this?
318
00:13:24,590 --> 00:13:27,610
Kurt fucking cobain...
319
00:13:28,210 --> 00:13:29,420
played that.
320
00:13:29,420 --> 00:13:30,420
Courtney gave it to me.
321
00:13:30,420 --> 00:13:33,910
I helped her produce a demo,write some songs.
322
00:13:33,910 --> 00:13:35,150
It's yours.
323
00:13:35,150 --> 00:13:37,870
You're giving me kurt cobain'sguitar because you fucked mia?
324
00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:42,040
No.I'm giving youkurt cobain's guitar because...
325
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,650
you're my only friend,and I,uh...
326
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,290
wait,no.
327
00:13:47,290 --> 00:13:48,480
Take...
328
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:49,400
care of it.I mean,you --
329
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:54,250
you canput becca through collegewith that fucking thing.
330
00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:57,310
Okay.
331
00:13:58,510 --> 00:14:00,320
You hungry?
332
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,410
You like crepes?
333
00:14:02,410 --> 00:14:03,840
I got a new panI want to try out.
334
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:07,400
That's what I'm gonna do --I'm gonna make us some crepes.
335
00:14:11,190 --> 00:14:13,870
Becca,it's nothalf as crazy as it sounds.
336
00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:15,170
Becca: Fuck you!
337
00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:16,390
Okay.
338
00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:19,540
But I thinkthat your languageis perhapsa tad inappropriate.
339
00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:22,110
Oh,it's fucking appropriate,all right.
340
00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:24,100
Karen,will you -- will youcut me some slack here?
341
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:25,530
Do you see me frontingin any way?
342
00:14:25,530 --> 00:14:27,260
I've admittedthat I'm wrong,you know.
343
00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:31,060
Still,I don't think thatthat --you don't talkto your old man that way.
344
00:14:31,060 --> 00:14:34,440
Oh,well,you do if he fuckedyour boyfriend's mother.
345
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,760
I didn't know,okay?
346
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,610
And I don't likeall this "boyfriend" talk.
347
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,310
Well,of courseyou didn't know.
348
00:14:39,310 --> 00:14:42,170
How could you ever be expectedto know such a thing?
349
00:14:42,170 --> 00:14:43,250
Yes.Yeah,you know what?
350
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:46,810
You know,if you look atthis thing in a certain light,
351
00:14:46,810 --> 00:14:51,940
the whole mess can be viewedas almost entirely your fault.
352
00:14:53,780 --> 00:14:54,580
Come on.
353
00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:56,780
Well,you didn't tell me aboutthe boy until the dinner party.
354
00:14:56,780 --> 00:14:58,920
How was I supposed to knowwho his mother was?
355
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:06,000
Oh,well,if you were notso preoccupiedwith sticking your dickin any hole that will have you,
356
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,360
you might noticethese things.
357
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,650
Yes,but you kicked my dickout of the house.
358
00:15:09,650 --> 00:15:10,970
You made my dick homeless.
359
00:15:10,970 --> 00:15:14,790
And out of doorsis a placewhere penisesdon't generally fare well
360
00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:16,580
in the rain and the windand all that.
361
00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:18,880
Hank,shut up,okay?
362
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:23,270
My homeless dicknow must seek shelterfrom the stormwhere and whence it can.
363
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:26,850
Did she say to you,"oh,hank,I love your writing"?
364
00:15:26,850 --> 00:15:28,920
You see that?This is whywe should be together.
365
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:30,260
You just know my shit.
366
00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:31,820
-It's perfect. -It's whywe shouldn't be together.
367
00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:33,240
She needed a good cry.
368
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,430
She was lonely.What's the harm?
369
00:15:35,430 --> 00:15:36,770
The harm?
370
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,600
Oh,well,the harmis right there,okay?
371
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,830
That is the harm -- big harm.
372
00:15:41,830 --> 00:15:45,620
And the worst part isshe was defending you.
373
00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:46,620
What do you mean?
374
00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:48,770
Well,he didn'tbreak it off with her.
375
00:15:48,770 --> 00:15:51,770
He -- he just saidthat you were a dickfor sleeping with his mother.
376
00:15:51,770 --> 00:15:52,770
That's legitimate.
377
00:15:52,770 --> 00:15:54,770
But that did notsit well with her
378
00:15:54,770 --> 00:15:58,940
because no one talks shit about her beloved father.
379
00:15:58,940 --> 00:16:01,880
So she broke it offwith him.
380
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,760
Fuck.
381
00:16:13,590 --> 00:16:17,020
Don't you daretouch me.
382
00:16:19,850 --> 00:16:22,540
Kurt cobainplayed this guitar.
383
00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:26,420
If you treat it right,you'll never have to workanother day in your life.
384
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:29,750
You can't buy your wayout of this one.
385
00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:34,400
Damien was right --you are a dick.
386
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:43,990
Hey,mrs.Patterson.
387
00:16:43,990 --> 00:16:45,330
Is,uh,damien home?
388
00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:46,880
He's,um -- he's not here.
389
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:47,980
He's at band practice.
390
00:16:47,980 --> 00:16:49,000
Do you want to come in?
391
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,110
I-I don't think that would besuch a great idea.
392
00:16:52,110 --> 00:16:53,210
Don't let him scare you.
393
00:16:53,210 --> 00:16:54,070
He's a good kid.
394
00:16:54,070 --> 00:16:55,870
He's just very protectiveof his mother.
395
00:16:55,870 --> 00:16:57,730
That's a good thing.
396
00:16:58,210 --> 00:17:04,600
Well,I mean,we can't let our kidsruin a perfectly excellentsexual chemistry,can we?
397
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:05,220
Jesus.
398
00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:07,910
You know,when you put it that way,it soundspretty fucking reasonable.
399
00:17:07,910 --> 00:17:10,840
Can you -- can you write thatdown for me for laterin caseI need to use it?
400
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,410
Old man,I will gofucking medieval on your ass!
401
00:17:14,410 --> 00:17:15,580
Hey,settle down,townshend.
402
00:17:15,580 --> 00:17:18,040
I came here to talk to you,mano a mano.
403
00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:19,890
Hey,damien!
404
00:17:19,890 --> 00:17:21,870
-Come on. -Settle down,buddy.
405
00:17:21,870 --> 00:17:23,100
What is it?
406
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:24,390
What can I do for you?
407
00:17:24,390 --> 00:17:26,350
Let's figure this out.Come on.
408
00:17:28,210 --> 00:17:30,080
Okay.Here we go.
409
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,570
Come on,man.
410
00:17:31,570 --> 00:17:32,540
What can I do for you?
411
00:17:32,540 --> 00:17:33,150
N-nothing.
412
00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:34,810
There's nothing you can do.
413
00:17:35,330 --> 00:17:37,330
You're dead to me,and becca's totally dead to me.
414
00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:38,310
Well,that's a shame.
415
00:17:38,310 --> 00:17:43,240
That's a crying shamebecause she appears to bevery fond of you.
416
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,150
Really?
417
00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:47,870
What'd she say?
418
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,830
Nothing that I could everrepeat without vomiting.
419
00:17:52,230 --> 00:17:54,180
Now,come on.What can we do?
420
00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:56,100
Let's figure this out.
421
00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:59,000
Okay.First of all,repeat after me.
422
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,530
Okay.
423
00:18:01,460 --> 00:18:03,250
I will never...
424
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,670
"I will never...
425
00:18:04,670 --> 00:18:05,560
ever...
426
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,030
ever...
427
00:18:07,030 --> 00:18:08,720
ever...
428
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,950
ever...
429
00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:13,350
fuck my mom again.
430
00:18:13,350 --> 00:18:15,300
Fuck my mom again.
431
00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:16,650
Fuck your momagain.
432
00:18:16,650 --> 00:18:19,510
Boys,we don't have to beso quick to...
433
00:18:19,510 --> 00:18:20,730
fine.
434
00:18:20,730 --> 00:18:22,840
Whatever you want.
435
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,520
Okay?
436
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,990
We good?Anything else?
437
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:30,860
What's upwith the guitar?
438
00:18:32,620 --> 00:18:35,260
Ladies,I am home!
439
00:18:35,260 --> 00:18:37,320
Well,if it isn'tmr.Big fucking hollywood agent.
440
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:40,430
Steal any fucking clientson the way here,you bald motherfucker?
441
00:18:40,430 --> 00:18:42,190
Is everybody okay here?
442
00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:42,850
Yeah.
443
00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:45,400
I think it's calleda "pimp go get.
444
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:50,060
"Charlie:You come to my house,you push arounda couple of girls.
445
00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:53,240
You could have called,texted,we work this out ourselves.
446
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,760
You poached my girl.
447
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,990
That skank --she belongs to me.
448
00:18:58,340 --> 00:18:59,630
Sweetheart,put those fingers away.
449
00:18:59,630 --> 00:19:01,150
Who knowswhere they've been?
450
00:19:01,150 --> 00:19:02,560
Oh,wait a second.I fucking do.
451
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:03,510
They've been in my ass.
452
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:04,840
Oh,that was one time.
453
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:05,540
One good time.
454
00:19:05,540 --> 00:19:08,940
Hey,jerk-off,you knowwhat a fucking contract is?
455
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,560
This is nota very good deal,daisy.
456
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:17,820
You think?
457
00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:21,340
Bad news -- you're connected togilbert gottfried here for life.
458
00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:24,670
Good news -- this will neverhold up in court,asshole.
459
00:19:24,670 --> 00:19:26,290
Maybe not,perry mason,but guess what?
460
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:28,850
A lot of not-nice shitcan happen during that time.
461
00:19:28,850 --> 00:19:31,150
You want to fuckingtake that chance?
462
00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:33,900
Motherlesscunt bastard!
463
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:35,720
-Fuck you.
-Fuck you!
464
00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:37,460
Okay.
465
00:19:37,460 --> 00:19:38,960
You know what?That wasn't very nice at all.
466
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,350
That's my soy milk,and I have serious dairy issues.
467
00:19:41,350 --> 00:19:42,110
Yes,you do.
468
00:19:42,110 --> 00:19:44,330
I want youout of my house now.
469
00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:47,400
And,you,please put my wife down.
470
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:48,360
I got no problemwith that.
471
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,360
But daisy --she's coming with me.
472
00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:51,580
Sweetheart,come on,honey.
473
00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:53,100
We've got a past.
474
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:55,190
You know that whole speculumseries we wanted to do?
475
00:19:55,190 --> 00:19:56,290
I thinkthe time is right.
476
00:19:56,290 --> 00:19:58,910
Come on,honey.Let's make some porn!
477
00:19:59,350 --> 00:20:00,450
How much you wantfor her?
478
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,790
She's not a fucking slave,charlie!
479
00:20:02,790 --> 00:20:04,000
You know what,pal?
480
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,980
I believe in this girl!Yeah.
481
00:20:05,980 --> 00:20:08,450
She is gonna bea huge star one day.
482
00:20:08,450 --> 00:20:10,400
"Vaginatown"is just the beginning.
483
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,550
There will be much ruingof this day.
484
00:20:12,550 --> 00:20:13,200
Ruing,right.
485
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,280
Big fucking star.
486
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,640
Jenna fucking jameson.
487
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:16,530
Wait a second.
488
00:20:16,530 --> 00:20:17,520
There's fucking chinese!
489
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,940
Big!
490
00:20:18,940 --> 00:20:20,610
Okay,look.It's all gonna be okay.
491
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:21,960
Everything's cool.
492
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,750
I'm gonna give him some moneyfrom the emergency fund.
493
00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:24,640
Oh,no,no,no.
494
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,000
No,no,no,no,no.Baby.
495
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:29,030
Charlie: Baby,you said it yourself --she's family,okay?
496
00:20:29,030 --> 00:20:32,040
And that's whatthe money's for -- emergencies.
497
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:33,130
I can'tlet you do this.
498
00:20:33,130 --> 00:20:34,810
What'sthe alternative,huh?
499
00:20:34,810 --> 00:20:36,540
You go back with this guy,the next thing you know,
500
00:20:36,540 --> 00:20:39,110
you're starring in your own lineof gynecological training films.
501
00:20:39,110 --> 00:20:40,350
Not on my watch.
502
00:20:40,350 --> 00:20:41,790
Okay.Baby.Baby!
503
00:20:41,790 --> 00:20:44,990
-Maybe you could justwrite him a check. -I will give himwh--
504
00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:52,030
all of it?
505
00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:54,940
You spent all of it?
506
00:20:54,940 --> 00:20:58,290
That was my mad money,baby.
507
00:21:00,110 --> 00:21:03,460
Pleasure doing businesswith you,captain jackass!
508
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,940
I love that car.
509
00:21:17,770 --> 00:21:20,050
I'm sorry,daddy.
510
00:21:20,430 --> 00:21:22,520
I don't knowwhat happened to me.
511
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,110
You're goingto your mother'S.
512
00:21:25,110 --> 00:21:29,020
But going to my mother'smakes me want to do drugs!
513
00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:30,000
A lot of 'em!
514
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,900
I don't want to hear it.
515
00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:34,990
It's a good placefor you to chill out.
516
00:21:39,030 --> 00:21:40,620
Whatever you say,daddy.
517
00:21:40,620 --> 00:21:44,350
I'll help you knock this monkeyoff your back,baby.
518
00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:47,410
If you let me.
519
00:21:58,980 --> 00:22:00,560
Where are we going?
520
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:01,720
Nowhere.
521
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,470
Just going for a walk.
522
00:22:03,470 --> 00:22:05,250
No one walks in L.A.
523
00:22:05,250 --> 00:22:06,280
We do.
524
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,450
Always have,always will.
525
00:22:08,450 --> 00:22:10,220
We're new yorkers.
526
00:22:10,220 --> 00:22:11,990
There is no "always.
527
00:22:11,990 --> 00:22:13,940
"There's just right now.
528
00:22:14,580 --> 00:22:17,070
You don't like me very muchright now,do you?
529
00:22:17,070 --> 00:22:18,360
No.
530
00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:20,000
I don'T.
531
00:22:20,390 --> 00:22:23,230
You know,I knowI say this too much --all the time,probably,
532
00:22:23,230 --> 00:22:31,860
but I was wrongto do what I did,and I was wrong to be so glibabout trying to fix it.
533
00:22:31,860 --> 00:22:37,460
There is no rightor wrong,dad,just the consequencesof your actions.
534
00:22:37,460 --> 00:22:39,640
You taught me that.
535
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:43,870
I guess I don't likethe consequences of my actionsvery much right now.
536
00:22:43,870 --> 00:22:45,180
Yeah.
537
00:22:45,180 --> 00:22:47,140
Me neither.
538
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,440
So,uh...
539
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,530
what is it that you like so muchabout this boy?
540
00:22:54,530 --> 00:22:55,670
I don't know.
541
00:22:55,670 --> 00:22:57,000
Come on.
542
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,270
It's got to be something.
543
00:22:58,270 --> 00:23:00,200
Use your words.
544
00:23:00,650 --> 00:23:02,340
He's really smart.
545
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:05,230
Let's not go crazy.
546
00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:07,670
And he makes mefeel pretty.
547
00:23:07,670 --> 00:23:08,450
Well,that you are.
548
00:23:08,450 --> 00:23:10,500
You're very pretty.You're beautiful.
549
00:23:10,500 --> 00:23:12,180
Shut up.I'm not beautiful.
550
00:23:12,180 --> 00:23:13,620
Don't say that.
551
00:23:13,620 --> 00:23:14,620
Look.
552
00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:15,450
Don't ever say that.
553
00:23:15,450 --> 00:23:16,770
You are beautiful.
554
00:23:16,770 --> 00:23:18,870
You're the most beautiful thingin the world to me.
555
00:23:18,870 --> 00:23:21,150
Then treat me that way.
556
00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:23,510
I'm alwayson your side,dad,always.
557
00:23:23,510 --> 00:23:25,170
Even when I shouldn't be.
558
00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:26,320
But I'm sick of it.
559
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,210
Get your shit togetherbefore it's too late!
560
00:23:29,210 --> 00:23:32,560
I don't careif you and momnever say another kind wordto each other,
561
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,110
but I'm sick and tiredof parenting you both.
562
00:23:35,110 --> 00:23:36,590
I'm a fucking kid!
563
00:23:36,590 --> 00:23:39,290
I don't know what I'm doinghalf the time.
564
00:23:39,290 --> 00:23:43,790
But I do know this --if you keep cracking jokesand taking another drink
565
00:23:43,790 --> 00:23:47,060
and pretending that lifeis one big,stupid party,
566
00:23:47,060 --> 00:23:50,820
you will miss everything.
567
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,740
Damien: Becca!
568
00:24:06,100 --> 00:24:08,680
You have fun,okay?
569
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,690
Not too much fun.
570
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:25,020
Hey,damien.
571
00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:29,340
You think I might take you downto the guitar centerand get you something coolerthan that one?
572
00:24:29,340 --> 00:24:31,240
-That'S... -no,man.
573
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:32,180
This guitar is awesome.
574
00:24:32,180 --> 00:24:33,650
It's like...
575
00:24:33,650 --> 00:24:35,990
it's like somethingcobain would have played.
576
00:24:36,830 --> 00:24:38,560
Awesome.
577
00:24:41,410 --> 00:24:43,700
Have fun,honey.
578
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,600
May I have another,please?
579
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,290
I don't think so.
580
00:24:50,290 --> 00:24:51,840
Really?Am I that sloshed?
581
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,570
No.But if I'm gonnatake you home with me,
582
00:24:54,570 --> 00:24:56,500
I don't want you to beat...
583
00:24:56,500 --> 00:24:58,420
half-mast.
584
00:24:59,850 --> 00:25:01,390
I'm so flattered.
585
00:25:01,390 --> 00:25:04,850
I just don't think I'dbe very good companyfor anybody tonight.
586
00:25:04,850 --> 00:25:05,790
Why not?
587
00:25:05,790 --> 00:25:06,790
I've heard good things.
588
00:25:06,790 --> 00:25:08,850
No,I am very agreeable.
589
00:25:08,850 --> 00:25:11,570
And you are nothingif not a beautiful barmaid.
590
00:25:11,570 --> 00:25:15,990
I've just got a little too much of my daughter's voicerunning around in my head right now
591
00:25:15,990 --> 00:25:17,910
to be good companyfor anybody.
592
00:25:17,910 --> 00:25:21,170
That's not as creepyas it sounds,either.
593
00:25:21,170 --> 00:25:23,060
Honestly.
594
00:25:23,060 --> 00:25:28,200
So,uh,tonight,I think you're just gonnahave to settle for...
595
00:25:29,060 --> 00:25:30,270
the tip!
596
00:25:30,270 --> 00:25:31,820
Just the tip!
597
00:25:31,820 --> 00:25:32,890
Get it?
598
00:25:32,890 --> 00:25:34,930
Got it?Good.
599
00:25:34,930 --> 00:25:36,640
Good night,hank.
600
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,960
Good night,beautiful barmaid.
601
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,160
Am I too late?
602
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,080
Did you alreadywet yourself?
603
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,030
So,what are we drinking?
604
00:25:50,030 --> 00:25:55,020
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
Proudly Presents
605
00:25:55,020 --> 00:25:59,390
Sync: YTET-ÅÝÅÝ·É
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
606
00:25:59,660 --> 00:26:05,560
californication
Season 02 Episode 07
607
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000
608
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000